I've been composing and re-composing this entry, mostly because I find it difficult to phrase how I am feeling and what is going through my mind into words.

It always is a difficult phrase in life to go through when one of your love one is about to go through a very important operation. The thought of losing that love one will always ache at the back of your heart no matter what you do. It's scary losing someone so dear. Some express those feelings verbally, some.. let's just say we prefer to keep them to ourselves. Beating ourselves over it seem.. redundant but it doesnt not make it any less painful.

So how dare that person talk about life and death without hesitation or the least of care. How dare he set it up in a way that I would be guilty. How dare he not put himself in my fucking shoe. How dare he be utterly selfish with his words. I can understand the terrible feeling you have to bear with, the fear you try to hide, the worry you lavish yourself with but it does not warrant you the excuse to use your words mindlessly.

FUCK.

I can pretend those were just spiteful words but I'm sorry.. you are old enough to know what can be said and what should not be said. I will not forgive you for that but I will spare you this remorse that you should have bore.



FUCK THIS SHIT.