It's been sometime since I've last log a post. A summary of what has been going on in my life since the last entry(& I will not hide a secondary meaning in any form, everything will be in simple context. No pun, no mystery intended)

I have somewhat resigned from my part time job at Lhub. The thought of going back to Lhub to work is suffocating. The workload and stress may be very little but the mental stress is over-bearing as I find it hard to face my boss and colleagues due to past events. I shall not dwell too much into 'past events'. Having been notified that I would only be called back for work if there is time from my boss to spare seem like a plan to gradually distant myself from the job and finally drop the bomb(or at least it is to me because my boss has been treating me fairly well).

Most of my close friends would know that I have been stuck on to an online multi-player role-playing game called 'Battle of the Immortals' or in short BoI. I've enjoyed the hours spent playing this game and shall not regret venturing into it but I have come to a decision that I should cut down on my hours(depending on things are from now on) for my gaming. It is far too taxing for me to handle/bear. Some may refer to this as weak or that I am being fickle-minded/lack of perseverence again. As much as I am very enthusiastic to get into this debate I will avoid it since anyone who have come to this conclusion obviously is making judgment from an ignorant point of view. I'm apologetic for those who have expectations of me. For now, this seems to be for the better.

Friendship.. I have been putting in much thoughts into my friendship. The past the present and the possible future. We will eventually come to a turning point in every relationship and friendship is no exception to that. I have seen myself become closer with a friend and myself being even more distant from another. What years that are held between surely mean something but how much is something is always a question mark. There seem to be alot of misunderstanding and misconception between me and some of my friends and it is getting more frequently than I had hoped/expected. Before any serious damage(or at least I hope there isn't yet) is done, I will try to avoid them as much as my principles would allow. Nonetheless, I like to think myself as someone who would be there for a friend. Now who will be there for me..

Yesterday was the first lesson of my remoduled 'Conflict Management', Henry doesn't seem to remember who I am or maybe he does but just not my name ;D His ever so cheeky smile and jokes. I go through this diploma course and I must say it contributed alot to my self-development. Conflict..a very tiring process and a very troublesome and tricky puzzle to solve. One can only hope the other is as understanding as he/she is.

People often make an assumption that when someone uses 'I think' it would mean that the speaker is unsure, does it ever occur to you that 'I think' is actually 'It is'? That said..

I think we live in an era where being friendly covers a very broad aspect of open-ness. Some find it hard to express their friendliness openly thus seeking an alternative expression act/way through what could be an insult in the past as a cover up so as not to feel.. gay, weak or too friendly. To them it is normal and if they are met with different counter of approach, it is to them that you have err'd. Funny how this works but if you think about it, it happens very often in this age.

I will now talk about how misunderstood I feel these past weeks.

I never did like being shut up'd or insulted, friendly or not & I have been so often in the past few weeks that I find it fustrating and intolerable as I have bottled too much of that very uncomfortable feeling.

That much aside, I think I can safely say that I do not bite.. much.





There is so much going on in my family that I am confused and frankly I'm rather afraid of what it all means. My father is going through a rather difficult time, for him to be affected by his health at his age is worrisome and my mum is taking on much more burdens which I find helpless as I can only do so much for them. If I ever turn to god, I would pray for their health without skipping a day of prayer.

I'm gna end my long post here and turn in, as I should have 3 hours ago. Hehh.



Goodnight World.